One day I’m cheering and dancing at a Mavericks game, that night I’m crying in agony as my boyfriend rushes me home. One weekend I’m running around a Tulip Farm or laughing at Dave and Busters. That following Monday I’m unable to get out of bed.
You never know when it’s going to strike, in an hour, a day, a week. Your days become filled with medications, doctors’ appointments and doing all you can to avoid the next episode.
You make plans with friends, fearful that you may have to cancel at the last minute. You spend years scared that no boy will want to deal with your chronic pain and all the baggage it sometimes results in. You worry you will lose friends, that your grades will suffer or that you will miss out on life.
This is living with Chronic Pain.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Migraines. Leading up to the diagnosis, my days were filled with endless excruciating pain that resulted in me wanting God to call me home. I felt helpless. Thanks to my doctors and my diagnosis I was able to introduce daily medication, emergency medication, acupuncture, essential oils and diet into my life in order to decrease the number of headaches/migraines I have each week. I’m now down to 2-3 (instead of 7 days a week).
When a migraine strikes my life goes on hold. My head becomes filled with so much pain, agony and tension that many times I become unable to function. I have to be in complete darkness, my body begins to ache and many times I begin to make no sense. There are days when I throw a pity party and wonder, “why me.”
However, I then sit back and think of all the people out there who have their own crosses to bare. There are people fighting cancer, rape victims, starving children, refugees… and millions of people with chronic pain just like me.
Sometimes I feels like I’m all alone. However, it’s when I cancel the pity party and look at the world around me that I realize how good I have it. Things could be so much worse. I have a life filled with a wonderful family, understanding friends and the most loving boyfriend a girl could ever ask for.
They say God never gives you more than you can handle. My chronic pain may be a part of me, but it is not me. It does not define me and I can handle it, one day at a time.